Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got inside last night via doggy door
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
