I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just tell him i said nine months
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
