there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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