No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Panties = found
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
