is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
