My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
