Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
