I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
a search helicopter?!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
