So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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