don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize