On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
