is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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