It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
