if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
