hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
