never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i can't believe i had my finger in that
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
