the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
pray to the hookup gods
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
