I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
