I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
