Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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