I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
