I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
