Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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