Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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