im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
