I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize