Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
