This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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