Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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