"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
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