Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Couch. On fire.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
