I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish my penis had an off switch
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
