Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
