I CAN MOONWALK!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
