everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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