then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
