those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
