Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
