I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
