Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
