that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
