Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
