he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize