I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
