Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
