Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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