I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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