I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
