So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
