i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
