So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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