she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
high people should be assigned attendants
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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