It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
