We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
