dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
