I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
