Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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